update?

ai ya tis post not really tok bout my personal life la.. but jus want to comment on some issues ma..

seems that gals always face e issue of guys asking them out.. guys dun really get tat problem.. den when the guy's intentions is hyper obvious they still accept e invitation.. when they noe e guy just wanted to go out wif her.. i dun understand that mentality, bcoz thats taking in account that e guy not a close fren.. haiz suan le i can never understand that mentality..

nowadays seldom go forum.. more like i only comment on interesting threads.. why? its not bcoz im busy.. e forum nowadays seems hav to alot of internal events.. e forum has bcome a much more personal place, where guys are trying to get the girl inside e forum, a relationship sprouted inside, some hates, and -_- most threads go off topic.. due to alot of 1 sentence posts..

but i just dun like that e forum has bcome a place where it starts to affect real relations..

and partly bcoz i dun like to help on bgr issues when they tink im not 'mature' enuff at all.. i will only advise if e other party is serious about asking me..

or i just hate e idea of bgr now.. 9 months ago, mayb not

bgr is a privilege, its not something everyone gets to go through, so i will still not attempt to b 'attractive', jus always b 'ignorant'..

update

woo feels like 3 months since my last update.. was surprised to see its only a month ago..

holiday wasted.. haiz..

everyday seems to be a challenge finding a place to go that day.. can't find a job either..

ok la i post bcoz i feeling emo.. cried bout 15 mins ago.. just thinking of her..

usually, i try not to cry one.. but nowadays, tears can flow out of anywhere anytime, even right in the midst of people..


i learnt something from what somebody said.. which explains a paradox i have since her death.. it's controversial though.. so i'm not saying what it is, but from personal experience i found that it fits for me.. well i have another site i visit everyday.. it's a grief forum.. i often share my thoughts and weird experiences there.. i didn't bother to conceal my name, so it's quite easy to CSI out what site it is..

since that day, i have been to the temple to visit her 5 times.. the last 2 times.. i failed to see her.. because i mistook the timing of the closing time of the 'colobrium' (can't spell)

why did i add a countdown on my nick.. let you guess.. see how many years that is.. that you can probably guess the reason i'm counting down.. not that i'm pessimistic.. because that time will come eventually.. but, i'm really looking forward to that day...

(you are still beautiful to me, i wonder how you look like now)