ahh wad shd i type

even i also dunoe.. very bz nowadays since project start.. sian getting no holiday..

haiz..

ppl are going to tink im acting dramatic but anyways..

haiz cant sleep at night recently..
after chionging work 1 whole day, i reached home very tired, so tot i'll sleep pretty soon
then the lights were off.. but for some reason i can't seem to sleep

after a long while i managed to slept.. but 3-4am i woke up out of no reason and cannot sleep (i woke up 9am previous day, so it's not overslept)

then tat night.. lots of thoughts came into my mind.. what if this person die, what if that person die, what if my parents die.. how am i going to live on..

i really really wanted to go mad.. at least certified that i'm mad.. instead of living everyday and looking normal

after an hour of torturous thoughts, i fell asleep again.. then when i woke up, its like nothing ever happened.. my mood is not affected.. so stop emo liao..

den again 1 day of work.. reach home very tired.. trying to sleep
again cannot sleep

i give up.. i jus want to cry.. i force myself to cry.. i reminded myself of alot of sad things that happened the past 1 year and kept crying.. again the relief brought by crying came.. then i slept again..

and woke up like nothing happened.. then at night.. right now.. i can't seem to sleep again.. so i'm typing this, coz i'm jus trying to get it off..

should i go cry again?

project is screwed up..

6 days more to anniversary

shd i stop typing? i dun feel like.. neither do i noe what to type..

i hope theres an end to this.. but no

i realise no, its forever

its fucking forever..

i can never see her again..

unlike many things, there is not even a glimmer of hope for this...

there is no end point saying "it's all over"

until my death






what shall i do to get through this tomoro