christmas?

christmas.. i hate christmas now.. the festive lights and music.. reminded me of that it is the last time i saw her in person.. leaving my primary sch frens gathering and going to find her in takashimaya playing her harmonica.....

and, i cant believe i had just talked like this on msn.. i shall post the chat log in its entirety..

the plotline: i agreed to join a steamboat bbq outing from another online grp i sometimes visit (its NOT edmw), although im not really that close to them, and because my A lvl cum pri sch frens asked me to go out and have buffet that day.. and that i had actually agreed to that grp steamboat outing b4.. so i need to cancel.. but firs coz i noe i had agree to buy a shirt from them, i should at least pay them back and collect the shirt but wun go for the bbq..

so, i find the organiser and this is wad i said:

(11:45) me: u there?
(11:46) the organiser: yup
(11:46) me: okk
(11:46) me: eh
(11:46) me: u prepare the shirt for me liao ah
(11:46) me: okie see the chat also same
(11:46) the organiser: yup
(11:46) the organiser: ordered from the supplier
(11:46) the organiser: just collect ytd nia
(11:46) me: ai ya den i jus pay you for e shirt nia
(11:47) the organiser: but i think it'd be better if u join the gathering
(11:47) me: e problem is
(11:47) me: my A lvl frens eating sakae!!
(11:47) the organiser: cause we also made reservations =/
(11:47) me: pay already ah
(11:47) the organiser: uh huh...common mah
(11:47) me: ai yaz
(11:47) the organiser: nope haven't pay, but withdrawal of attendees ar...i hard to jiao dai
(11:48) the organiser: cause u tell us u confirm coming liao ma
(11:48) the organiser: then how can u tell ur friends u can make it on that day
(11:48) the organiser: =/
(11:48) me: its pri sch frens suddenly contact me
(11:49) the organiser: yup...but then u shld tell them today u going out with us liao mah..
(11:50) me: ai ya den how much u pay for reservation
(11:50) me: full payment?
(11:51) the organiser: i haven't pay for reservation..
(11:51) the organiser: sherman, money is not an issue
(11:51) the organiser: i think this is a matter of principle lor
(11:52) the organiser: if u really wanna go with ur friends, it's ur choice, i cannot stop u
(11:52) me: lol u tink i trying to b wad ah
(11:52) me: i didnt say that did i
(11:52) the organiser: then why do u ask?
(11:53) me: now u are the one suggesting that
(11:53) me: im trying to make up here
(11:54) the organiser: suggesting what?
(11:54) me: saying i jus dun come for the whole thing
(11:54) me: u tink neither am i screwed up by it??
(11:54) the organiser: ok im afraid u got my idea wrong
(11:55) the organiser: first and for most, the reason u contact me is to INFORM me that u're going with ur a level friends to sakae and i'm in no position to let u seek approval upon too
(11:55) the organiser: so...what am i assuming? nothing?
(11:55) me: no im saying can i jus pay you for the shirt
(11:55) me: n reservation costs
(11:55) the organiser: so i said, money is not an issue
(11:55) the organiser: what matters most is u come
(11:56) the organiser: because u told me long before u knew abt the sakae that u're confirming ur attendance
(11:56) me: okay great now i REALLY regretted promising that
(11:56) the organiser: it's okay u know...because i said it's ur choice
(11:56) the organiser: u're here to inform
(11:56) the organiser: not seek for approval
(11:56) the organiser: so...actually the decision is urs
(11:57) me: but i canot let ppl make loss bcoz of my ignorance
(11:57) the organiser: erm there's nothing to do with ignorance here i guess...
(11:58) me: anyways
(11:58) the organiser: just tell me what u want
(11:58) me: how much are those so i can pay u back
(11:58) the organiser: that will do
(11:58) the organiser: i said i havent pay for the reservation, but i made reservation
(11:58) the organiser: the shirt is all the same, $18 per pc
(11:59) the organiser: and actually i've no idea how are u going to collect it
(11:59) me: okay u got bank account number?
(11:59) me: e shirt i will find another opportunity to collect
(11:59) the organiser: let me know how are u going to collect it
(12:00) the organiser: *-)
(12:00) me: do you hav anyone living in tampines/
(12:00) the organiser: i think u made me lost trust in u so...
(12:00) me: lol
(12:00) me: suay bian lor since thats your view
(12:01) the organiser: well...ur behavior let me feel that, if u think that's really responsible of you
(12:01) me: in that case u rather me totally forget bout it ah
(12:02) the organiser: ok nvm, i think u relaly don't get me at all
(12:02) the organiser: and i don't think u'd buy the laydio tee if u're not going the gathering..so no point buying it frm me
(12:03) the organiser: and i dont wanna let u have a feeling that paying money can make you "make up" for your broken promise
(12:03) me: lol
(12:03) me: k lor
(12:03) me: since u wan play realistic
(12:03) me: den k lor
(12:03) the organiser: "play realistic"? excuse me what's that
(12:05) me: den in tat case sun bian disregard my singing application, since im a total villian, ya bye
(12:05) the organiser on to http://laydio.net/gathering for more info of the gathering tmr 24/11! :) has been blocked

wow did i jus acted like that? haiz..




sian feeling so down really want to cry..